Not Your Average Parenting Guides: 7 Must-Read Books Expose the Realities of Motherhood
When you find yourself at the crossroads of being a childless adult or parent, a lot of questions and complex thoughts can arrive. Would I be a good mom? Will I still be myself with a child? What if I hate being a mother?
Sure, you can read the classic parenting books, like The Baby Decision: How to Make The Most Important Choice of Your Life or What to Expect When You’re Expecting, but those can feel clinical and biased. These selections are edgy and sometimes controversial works that go beyond typical parenting guides, creating thought-provoking explorations of motherhood.
Whether you’re considering becoming a mother or simply wish to understand the multifaceted experiences of motherhood, this list of books offers unique insights.
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The Argonauts by Maggie Nelson
Maggie Nelson’s The Argonauts is a groundbreaking work of “autotheory,” blending memoir and critical theory to explore themes of motherhood, gender, and identity. The nonfiction memoir is not only a unique narrative, but it offers a unique view of motherhood. Nelson’s narrative is deeply personal, detailing her experiences during pregnancy and labor alongside her partner’s gender transition.
Modern Motherhood
The Argonauts stands out for its candid exploration of non-traditional family structures and its challenge to societal norms regarding gender and motherhood. Be warned, it can get graphic, but hey, so can motherhood.
Nightbitch by Rachel Yoder
Nightbitch is a surreal and darkly humorous fiction novel about a former artist turned stay-at-home mother who begins to believe she is transforming into a dog. Through this fantastical premise, Yoder explores the primal and often unspoken aspects of motherhood, such as the loss of identity and the struggle for self-expression. It’s also now a movie with Amy Adams!
A Bold Metaphor
Nightbitch is notable for its bold narrative style and its critique of the expectations placed on mothers. Reading a first-person account of the reality of motherhood can be, honestly, boring at times. But Nightbitch is a fascinating story that can help you contemplate motherhood from a completely new angle.
Like a Mother: A Feminist Journey Through the Science and Culture of Pregnancy by Angela Garbes
Angela Garbes gives a feminist perspective on pregnancy and motherhood, combining rigorous scientific research with personal anecdotes in this nonfiction book. Like a Mother delves into the physical and emotional changes women experience, challenging societal myths. It provides a comprehensive understanding of the maternal journey in a way many other books do not.
Blending Emotion and Science
Like a Mother is distinct for its blend of humor, honesty, and feminist critique, making it a refreshing departure from traditional pregnancy guides. It’s similar to The Argonauts in the blend of personal narrative and reputable research but still gives you a one-of-a-kind perspective.
Are You My Mother? A Comic Drama by Alison Bechdel
Alison Bechdel’s graphic memoir explores her complex relationship with her mother, weaving together themes of psychoanalysis, literature, and personal history. While many books people read before deciding to become a parent are about pregnancy and infancy, this book goes much further. Don’t forget, eventually, kids aren’t kids anymore, and that’s a whole other layer of being a mother.
Do I Want to Be Your Mother?
Known for its emotional heft and intellectual rigor, Are You My Mother? offers a nuanced look at the mother-daughter dynamic and the search for identity. The graphic memoir format also makes it easy and fun to read. Bechdel’s style is undeniable and can help you be honest with yourself about your potential and desires.
Motherhood by Sheila Heti
In Motherhood, Sheila Heti tackles the existential question of whether or not to have children. If you’re reading this, there’s a solid chance you’re grappling with the same question. Through a blend of fiction and autobiography, Heti examines the societal pressures and personal desires that influence this decision.
An Honest Narrative
Motherhood is celebrated for its introspective narrative and its willingness to confront the ambivalence and anxiety surrounding motherhood. One of our favorite lines sums up the narrative and relatability well: “Whether I want kids is a secret I keep from myself—it is the greatest secret I keep from myself.” This book might help you uncover this secret you’re hiding.
Beloved by Toni Morrison
Toni Morrison’s Beloved is a powerful exploration of the maternal bond in the context of slavery. It’s also one of the most critically acclaimed and widely loved books in modern literature. Morrison’s work is renowned for its lyrical prose and its profound examination of the sacrifices and traumas inherent in motherhood.
A Must-Read for Everyone, Not Just Mothers
Beloved is a classic for its historical depth and emotional resonance. The novel tells the story of Sethe, a mother haunted by the ghost of her deceased child. While your potential journey as a mother will likely not resemble Sethe’s perfectly, the raw narrative helps you explore the weight and endlessness of the role of mother.
The Wren, The Wren by Anne Enright
Anne Enright’s fiction novel delves into the lives of three generations of women, exploring how the legacies of motherhood and family shape their identities. Every experience as a mother is different, but it’s also the same in many ways. This generational narrative shows the intricacies of motherhood influenced by individual women.
Enright’s Layered Perspective
With its rich character development and intricate narrative, The Wren, The Wren offers a compelling look at the enduring impact of maternal relationships. Enright’s work is praised for its insight into the complexities of family life and the nuances of the female experience. The book goes beyond the mother and child dynamic to explore how motherhood changes other relationships and aspects of life.
Looking at Motherhood From Every Angle
There’s been a decline in birth rates in the United States, with a 2% decrease in the number of births from 2022 to 2023 and a 3% drop in the general fertility rate. Similar trends appear in many other countries. These trends reflect how people, particularly women, are more heavily considering the dynamics of motherhood and, often, opting not to have children. Motherhood can be beautifully fulfilling and meaningful, but it can also be overwhelming and identity-shattering.
There’s a lot of give and take involved in this decision. These books can help you better understand what you’ll have to give up and what you might get to take. With a deeper understanding of the multifaceted nature of motherhood, you can make an informed, thoughtful decision about your future.
Mother’s Day — A Tale Born of Loss
Mother’s Day. Always a challenge because it’s not straight ahead.
Yes I am my kids’ adoptive mother; they’ve been with us since they were four and six, but I am only in this role born of their loss. I embrace my sons, but they have always been ambivalent in their attachment to us.
As with any mom who is missing a child, any child or adult who has lost their mom, or someone who never had a mom, for many, Mother’s Day re-opens wounds that never fully heal.
READ: Mother’s Day — A Tale Born of Loss
Balancing Career and Motherhood: 6 Wise Tips from Successful Women
Juggling a career and motherhood is no easy feat, but many successful women have found ways to thrive in both roles. Here are some valuable insights and tips from accomplished working mothers on how to balance professional ambitions with family life.
READ: Balancing Career and Motherhood: 6 Wise Tips from Successful Women
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