Women, Are You Apologizing Too Much? Here’s How to Find Out and Stop
If we were to go through your work sent emails and texts, how many instances of “sorry” would we find? Did you say it once last month? Or ten times in one day?
If you’re a chronic apologizer, we get it. But we want to help you, and all women, bury this people-pleasing reflex, use a more assertive voice, and stop carrying the weight of blame. Remember, it’s about being assertive, appreciative, and solution-oriented without taking on unwarranted blame or guilt.
Whether you’re in a professional, personal, formal, casual, familiar, or unfamiliar setting, these are sensational phrases you can (or send) instead of an apology.
1. “Thank you for your patience”
“Thank you” is one of the best replacements for an apology. Instead of apologizing for a delay or inconvenience, express gratitude for understanding. This phrase acknowledges the other person’s time and effort while maintaining a positive tone. It shifts the focus from your perceived shortcomings to their valuable quality of patience, making everyone feel good about the situation!
2. “I appreciate your flexibility”
This is another way of saying “thank you”! Use this when requesting changes or adjustments to plans or deadlines. By expressing appreciation for flexibility, you’re acknowledging the other person’s willingness to adapt without taking the blame for the change. This phrase also subtly encourages a collaborative attitude, as it recognizes the importance of being able to adjust in a dynamic work environment or personal relationship.
3. “Pardon the interruption”
A “pardon” is a polite (and sort of classy, old-fashioned) way to interject without apologizing for speaking up. This phrase allows you to enter a conversation or draw attention to yourself in a meeting without diminishing your presence. Women apologize for simply existing all too often. This phrase is assertive yet courteous, striking a balance between respecting others’ time and valuing your own input. Use it confidently to ensure your voice is heard in professional and casual settings, and never feel bad for speaking up.
4. “Thank you for bringing this to my attention”
Use this one when someone points out one of your errors or areas for improvement. This response shows appreciation for feedback without accepting unnecessary blame. It demonstrates an open mind, willingness to grow, and openness to constructive criticism, which are valuable traits in any setting. While you can apologize for a mistake, men rarely do this, so why should women have to?
5. “I’d like to clarify”
Instead of apologizing for potential misunderstandings, offer clarity. More often than not, the miscommunication is not the woman’s fault. This phrase allows you to take control of the narrative and ensure your message is correctly understood. It’s proactive and shows that you’re committed to clear communication. It’s an excellent way to prevent confusion or misinterpretation, and positions you as someone who values and demands precision and mutual understanding.
6. “Moving forward, I will…”
Focus on solutions and future actions rather than dwelling on past mistakes. Many women tend to harp on their mistakes or speed bumps, but the best thing to do for yourself and others is to move on. This phrase demonstrates a proactive approach to problem-solving and personal growth. It shows that you’re taking responsibility for improvement without unnecessarily apologizing for past actions. Don’t get stuck in an apology loop!
7. “I appreciate your understanding”
We like to use this to acknowledge someone’s cooperation without assuming blame. This phrase expresses gratitude while maintaining a professional standing and/or respecting the individual. It’s particularly useful in situations where you need to assert boundaries or make decisions that might inconvenience others. For example, changing a meeting time last minute is a wonderful situation to use this phrasing. Or you can use it if you’re running late for a meetup with a friend.
8. “Let’s explore this further”
Instead of apologizing for disagreement, suggest a constructive discussion. Throwing a blanket apology on the situation helps no one. This phrase opens the door for solutions. It’s a confident way to address differences of opinion without backing down from your own viewpoint, which is very important for women in the workplace, but also valuable in every setting. With this handy phrase, you can transform potential conflicts into opportunities for innovation and deeper understanding.
9. “I’d like to propose an alternative”
Offer new ideas confidently without apologizing for having a different perspective. Why should you apologize for this anyway? This phrase positions you as a proactive and creative thinker. It shows that you’re engaged in the discussion and willing to contribute valuable insights, and you’re not afraid to think outside the box or offer new solutions. Use it to steer a project or conversation in a new direction.
10. “Thank you for your feedback”
Try to express gratitude for input rather than apologizing for needing guidance or corrections. This response acknowledges the value of others’ opinions while maintaining your dignity. It shows that you’re open to growth and willing to learn from others. Use this to build positive relationships with colleagues and superiors while continuously improving your skills. We feel this phrase carries even more weight when used between females, so don’t forget to acknowledge your fellow women, but there’s still no need to apologize.
11. “I’m recalibrating my approach”
We use this phrase when we need to change course or adjust our strategy. It demonstrates adaptability and a willingness to evolve without apologizing for initial missteps, as failure is all part of the journey anyway. This language shows that you recognize the need for change, assuring others involved that you’re on it, and are taking action to improve outcomes. It positions you as a thoughtful person who strives for excellence but isn’t so arrogant that you can’t assess your own choices.
12. “Let’s align our expectations”
Employ this phrase when there’s a mismatch between what was expected and what was delivered. Instead of apologizing for not meeting expectations, this approach invites discussion to ensure everyone is on the same page. It also doesn’t place blame on either party, keeping the peace and respect in the conversation. The phrase shows initiative in addressing discrepancies and a commitment to clear communication. Use this to foster transparency and mutual understanding, rather than apologizing and taking on all the blame.
Sorry, Not Sorry
Enough is enough when it comes to blame-taking, sorry-saying, and over-accommodating. At this point, it’s a reflex for many women to say sorry, but we can break this habit, starting with these useful phrases.
It’s absolutely possible to maintain politeness and respect while projecting confidence and avoiding unnecessary apologies.
On another note, apologies have lost some weight because we use them so often. Save all your “sorrys” for those situations where you really mess up and owe someone a heartfelt, earnest apology.
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